Supreme Chancellor Blogologist

I am a writer hardened and learned by the finest blogging school – the mean e-streets of the internet. I’ve lost not one, not five, but four whole friendships from people who said “you take that blogging thing way too seriously” and “go outside, maybe.” To them, I said my passion for truth in e-literature has always burned inside me! I even saw the likes of famous investigative blogger Sam Stein from across a café once! I have and have read 367 books and have written three dozen separate blogs. In my free time I correct factual inaccuracies in Youtube videos and write poetry about people from high school I’ve since surpassed magnificently in a blaze of success (or am about to in any case). I also enjoy cooking.

Less Supreme Reporter In Training

I’ve always believed in the impossible. When I was a kid, too young to fully remember the experience mind you, I was briefly lost in the wild and raised by exotic animals. My Mom will try to tell you that she just misplaced me in the Zoo for an hour, but I know better. Ever since I returned to society, I don’t remember much of my time in the wilderness but I DO know that I picked up some valuable natural instincts that without that experience would just be impossible to explain. My olfactory glands are so strong I can actually smell good and evil. “Good” is a really fruity smell, just so you know. I have the mane of a lion when it gets really humid. The most obvious and convincing evidence though is that I value loyalty and steak like a dog, if not more so. In college I studied writing because my mom thought I needed an outlet for my imagination. I don’t know if she intended for me to take that skill and actually show it to people, but that’s what I’ve done. Luckily for me, it turns out my heightened senses are ideal for investigative journalism. Whenever I try to explain this to my mom she always worries that she’ll never have grandchildren. Not with that attitude, she won’t.


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